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Forgive and Live

May 17th, 2008 9:29 PM by Lehel Szucs

This story came across one of our desks a few days ago and we wanted to share it with all of you.....

Forgive and Live
 
Lack of forgiveness can be a major roadblock to our success. Is there anyone in your life that you haven't forgiven? How about yourself? If you haven't forgiven yourself completely or others that have wronged you, you may be unknowingly hindering yourself from experiencing all that you were created to experience.
 
You may be asking yourself, "How does un-forgiveness hold me back from success." Let me explain some of the ways it can hinder us and some of the ways to let it go.
 
I once had someone who worked with me tell lies about me to the management and owners of a company that I was working for at the time. This person was saying many things that were not even close to the truth. I was unaware that this was going on behind the scenes.
 
I was in charge of sales and the company sales had grown 300% that year. I was spending more time at work than I ever should have. One of the lies that was told about me was that I wasn't working very many hours. Even though the results gave evidence that this wasn't the truth, some of the executive management believed it.
 
When I first found out about what was being said I was furious. I couldn't believe the things I heard. I couldn't believe that anyone would ever believe what was being said. It affected me in more ways than I will go in to right now. The worst thing was when it was happening I didn't have the understanding I am sharing with you now regarding un-forgiveness. You might say that I had a flawed belief system about forgiveness.
 
I allowed this un-forgiveness to take root inside of me and every time I saw this person I would get angry inside. I didn't show it on the outside, but I would let it stir up negative emotions and I was the one suffering. I carried this with me for way too long. I did not understand the reasons why I needed to forgive others. This is just one example of many in which I did not forgive people who I believed wronged me. Another mistake I made was not forgiving me when I made mistakes. I set high standards for myself and anytime I failed to achieve them 100% of the time, I would beat myself up. You might say I had a Masters Degree in un-forgiveness.
 
Many years ago when I first started understanding why I should forgive everyone for everything my first reaction was "GOD, You have got to be kidding. Do you know what they did to me? I not only do not want to forgive them I want to do bad things to them." Looking back now I see how crazy those thoughts were. I am so glad I decided to forgive everyone for everything. I wouldn't be writing this right now if I hadn't. I really don't know where I would be, but I know I wouldn't be experiencing the peace and joy I have in my life now.    
 
Here are some things to think about regarding forgiveness.
 
1.  If you don't forgive others you are bound to them. Un-forgiveness keeps us chained to people, past events and things we need to let go of. Learn the lessons you need to learn, but don't keep replaying the negative events over and over.
 
2.  Realize that none of us are perfect. You too have made mistakes. Even if your intentions have been good, you have hurt other people too. We deal with others by their actions and we sometimes judge ourselves by our intentions.
 
3.  When you don't forgive someone you are hurting yourself. Sometimes we think that we will show that person. We were hurt so much that we are going to cause them pain too. Most of the time, the person that hasn't forgiven someone is going through much more pain than the person they haven't forgiven. That is showing them! Let's hurt ourselves.
 
4.  If you forgive someone it doesn't make what they did right. By forgiving someone, you are not minimizing the wrong. You are just minimizing how it affects you.
 
5.  By forgiving someone we don't need to become foolish and put ourselves back in the same position to be hurt again. Be smart. If the person hasn't changed there is a good chance the same thing may happen again. Forgive them anyway to break the bondage of un-forgiveness, but be smart about not allowing yourself to be wronged again.
 
I realize we all have reasons that really make sense why we can't forgive some people. They may have done some horrible things to you. But if you don't forgive them the real person you are hurting is you.
 
If you have forgiven someone and you really meant it from your heart, but the emotions still come up from time to time just keep reminding yourself that you already forgave them. Don't let your emotions fool you. Keep speaking out loud the truth and make your emotions get back in line. Your emotions are not you. You have control over them. With practice and persistence you will get better at controlling your emotions instead of letting them control you.

Posted in:General
Posted by Lehel Szucs on May 17th, 2008 9:29 PM

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