February 19th, 2011 8:30 AM by Lehel S.
I am quite capable but I find that I am so overwhelmed by the uncertainty of whether I can succeed at the projects I want to move forward with that I get actually paralyzed. I fear that I will be judged as being foolish for what I am trying to do and by the fear that I will fail and be judged for that too. I am confident that I have the ability, but I throw road blocks or I just stop trying. Any suggestions?
Oh how I wanted to give you just the perfect answer – the one that will dissolve all roadblocks and keep you forever motivated.
I wanted to so badly that I sat in front of the keyboard – my head full of different directions to take my answer – and nothing, I mean nothing, showed up on the screen.
So I stopped – took a few breathes – closed my eyes and asked the question I have found to be the best in circumstances such as this…
“What is the Best Thing I Can Do In This Moment?”
And then I left the computer for awhile and within an hour I had what I thought was a great answer and I sat and got it all down – was almost finished when…
I hit a key and the entire post disappeared – gone, poof, absolutely nothing but the letter “t” left on the screen – and nothing I did would bring it back.
As demotivating as that initially felt after awhile I decided that there must be more – so I walked away from answering your question and moved on to other things.
And now, well Now I believe I have an answer for you much more in line with the Universe’s desire (that is – assuming the screen doesn’t go blank again, fingers crossed…)
Life is not measured in how many projects you complete – or even how many you start…
You are not graded by the books you write or the businesses you begin or the number of people you have “healed”
There are no grades…
And what you did yesterday doesn’t matter – and what occurs tomorrow isn’t relevant.
The only space you have any power is in the Present Moment – in this Moment Now
So – ask yourself “What is the Best thing I Can Do in this Moment Now?” and then do it
It really is as simple as all of that and I could end this answer now and feel like it is complete – except that I still have some “remnants” of that perfect answer that came to me yesterday and – for what they are worth – I would like to summarize them here…
1) It was only a few years ago that I realized that just because I started a book didn’t mean I had to finish it. What a relief to discover that if I wasn’t enjoying the read I could put it down and begin another – or – better yet – I could skip to the end. Just because a project is started doesn’t mean it has to be completed. Consider that possibility that you aren’t finishing these projects because they aren’t quite yet the projects that satisfy your soul – that are your reasons for being. Learn from them what you can and then let them go…
2) Until about 5 years ago I thought the joy in playing games was the win. I was all about following the rules and keeping score and getting that sense of satisfaction from winning the hand or taking down the opponent. It wasn’t until I sat down to play a game of dice with, among others, my dear friend Missy, that I learned differently. Missy taught me how to cheat – only to her it wasn’t cheating. Missy was all about bringing laughter into the game – about having fun in the moment and doing whatever came to her at the time. She never once cared about the “score”. I never laughed so hard during any game before – and I never looked at a board game, or cards, or dice, in the same way again.
Which is all another way of saying it is what you are doing with this moment now that matters – not the ultimate goal.
3) This “caring about what other people think” issue is at the root of what keeps so many of us stuck – and when you choose to let it go then you can begin to really have fun putting yourself out there – making mistakes – laughing at yourself – and then putting yourself out there again. The following is an exercise I use based upon The Sedona Method teachings….
* Take a few breathes and center yourself (I always begin with the breath). Take a moment to feel yourself in your body.
*Now welcome wanting other people’s approval as much as you do. Allow yourself to feel what it feels like to want another’s approval (if it is a specific person insert their name, if its a group name the group, if its yourself then use that) Really feel what it feels like without resistance or wanting to change it.
*Now resist wanting other people’s approval. Resist it as much as you can, as much as you ever have. Really feel what it feels like to want to change this caring what other people think.
*And then let it all go – just drop the wanting, drop the resisting and breathe
* And then repeat from the beginning – each time paying attention to how you feel – physically, emotionally, mentally.
I feel this exercise very physically – I can feel the energy move through my body – I can feel the constriction the resistance causes – and I can feel the opening that occurs when I drop it. Whether you feel it physically or not, with each repeat of the process you will be removing another layer of your “wanting approval” and after a time what you will feel is…